Saturday, June 11, 2011

Back with the Twin, Wedding in PA, Phone Situation, & Lonely <|3

So, me and my cousin AKA my Twin are back to being thick as thieves, all grudges dropped & forgiven :D

The wedding in PA was completely crazy, very tiring, but lots of fun at the same time (:

I don't know if I'll have enough graduation money to buy a new phone this month but even if I do or don't, I don't know what phone I wanna get. My choices are a Blackberry, an IPhone, the LG Revolution, or a Droid. I might just wait until I come back in August, get a job, & save up some money and pay for my own phone, my own plan, & my own bill and transfer to Virgin Mobile. It's the cheapest phone company out there so I don't know what I'm gonna do about the phone situation yet but we'll see by the end of June & my graduation.

I'm also beginning to feel very lonely. I see all my friends and the people I love in a relationship and I'm not and I'm jealous.
I hate to admit it but, I'm jealous of my twin because of her amazing relationship just like she's jealous of me because I'm already in college.
But it's always been that way.
I've always been jealous of her for having so many hot boyfriends & so many friends and she was always jealous of me because I still have a family that cares about me & how well I've done in school.
Now she's catching up to me and even getting ahead of me.
She's got the boyfriend, the job, the phone, & her drivers permit already. AND she's starting to do better in school.
I mean, I love her to death but all I've got is the family & college.
Not even close. Maybe I shouldn't think of it this way, but I just can't help it.

That's it for now.

Officially a Redhead ♥

I'm a redhead ♥ What do you think ? >:D

Friday, June 3, 2011

Ipad, New Phone, Love & Other Drugs, Photography, & Poetry ♥

So, at first, in August I was supposed to be getting a Samsung Galaxy Tablet from Verizon but today, my dad let slip that he's THINKING about getting me an IPad in August for my graduation so I'm REALLY excited >:D

Hopefully, I'll get enough graduation money and be able to save up and upgrade to a new phone. I'm either getting an LG Revolution or a Droid Charge. Not sure which yet, but I don't even know if I'll have enough graduation money to buy a new phone but I hope so because I'm already tired of my phone and it's already starting to act up on me and I've only had it for about a year now.

Love & Other Drugs is like, my new favorite movie. It's probably better then any Nicholas Sparks movie I've seen. Better than Dear John and WAY better than the Last Song and maybe even better than the Notebook. It's a wonderful, heartwarming, tear jerker romantic comedy and I love it. Jake Gyllenhaal & Anne Hathaway have such chemistry together. And I now own it and I'm lovin' it! ♥

Also, gonna start working on my photography & poetry and see where it takes me (:
Gonna try my hand at more poetry and start carrying my camera around with me more often [:

That's all for now.
Tootles ! ♥

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Camel Crush, Wedding, Love, Partying, MobWives, & Kitty Volunteer ♥

So, just a bunch of updates and new things going on.

I got my official ID card stating that I'm eighteen and it was a JOY to be able to walk up to the counter in RiteAid and ask for my favorite cigarettes and be able to whip out my ID when asked. It felt awesome, like a huge turning point in my life lmao

This whole weekend I'm gonna be in Pennsylvania to attend my aunt's sister's daughter's SECOND wedding so it should be fun. I'll be gone the whole weekend with no computer but it's alright because there's free food, new people, and lots of dancing ! >;D haha
We're leaving Saturday morning, bright and early, right when the sun comes up and heading out for the three hour drive to PA which I'll probably just sleep the whole ride and listen to music and text, which is cool with me lol
Won't be back until Monday night but that's okay because I got the whole night to chill and relax and I plan on sleeping the day away Tuesday morning because I know I will be EXHAUSTED from the long weekend.

I also know what I want as far as love goes.
I want a real relationship and a real man who's going to love me for me, respect me, trust me, be honest with me, and love me for who I am and doesn't try to change who I am or what I look like. I want a man who's going to have eyes for me, and only me. I want a man who's going to be faithful to me and who wants me to be happy and he's gonna try his very hardest and best to make me happy because seeing me happy makes HIM happy. I don't want a boy. I'm tired of boys and their immaturity. I want a real man who believes that forever is possible ♥

Also, I am now allowed back into my cousin's territory, courteousy of my mother who thinks that my cousin doesn't rule and reside over the whole damn city and I should be allowed to be out with my friends there if I wanna be without any interference or problems from her. So, definitely going to try to make plans with all my old girlfriends that I miss oh so much and, hopefully, make some new ones lol ♥

By the way, MobWives is probably the best show ever put on TV.
One, it's on VH1 and NOT MTV.
Two, it's not about a bunch of sluts and man whores fucking each other and getting wasted.
And three, the show is about four ADULT women (NOT TEENAGERS) that have some connection or affiliation with the Mob.
It's very interesting and exciting to see what they have to go through, how they deal with it, and some of the stupid drama they get into lol

Also some great news...
I FINALLY recieved the email from the animal shelter asking about volunteering for the cat program and I'm definitely starting next week, which I am SO excited about because I'm going to be out of the house more often and playing with & taking care of animals, specifically cats & kittens (: ♥ lol

That's all for now.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

New Hair ♥

This is the color I will be dyeing my hair in about another week or so.
I can't wait (: ♥

Of course, I have to prep my hair and get it ready to be colored and the only two options are to baby the SHIT out of it with special conditioners, combs, and the like OR cut it shorter then I want it to be and lose all that time growing my hair and getting it to its current length.
My hair is very damaged and broken, from my stupidity with constant using of a brush and pulling the tangles and knots out of it.
Of course, I've chosen to prep my hair before the big coloring and dyeing day because, as I said, I do not wish to lose it's currently long length.

Pictures will most definitely be posted when my hair is completely finished.
Like I said ...

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Nuff' Said♥

Zumba Fitness♥

Tonight I have started classes called Zumba Fitness ♥
Every Monday night is in a club called Molly Darcy's and every Sunday it's at a War Memorial.
There are classes every Monday, Wednesday, & Friday but we can't make it on Wednesdays.
I wish I had a girlfriend I could go with but I have to go with my mom instead, but that's alright lol
Even though she's uncoordinated and keeps knocking into me, we still have lots of fun.

Anyway, this my chosen way of exercise.
Instead of heading out to the boring gym every week and walking on a treadmill for an hour, I get to go to a club and listen to some kick ass dance music and dance while exercising at the same time.

I'm really committed to this and hope to lose enough weight where I'll be able to wear a bikini and ACTUALLY look hot lmfao

Friday, May 20, 2011


So, I am completely single, and don't even bother to ask why because I don't even wanna get into it.

Everytime I try to make plans with people in my area, they bail on me or come up with excuses or something gets in the way or goes wrong and the people that would actually hang out with me, are in another state and I'm not allowed to see them.

I sleep all day because I'm up all night watching movies and playing video games that I've watched and played a thousand times already.

I have no job, which equals no money, and no license, which of course equals no car.

I really wanna start volunteering already at the animal shelter I applied to but all I know is that I'm supposed to be getting an email about when the orientation for the cat program is and I still haven't gotten it yet, so I'm stuck here at home, waiting for this email that seems like it's never gonna come.

I need just anything to get me out of this house.
I guess I just expect friends, a boyfriend or girlfriend, a job, a license, etc. to just come to me but I know they won't.
I have to go out and work for them and look for them myself, except I have no means of doing that.

I have come to the conclusion that I have no life, I am completely alone, and I guess I just like to feel sorry for myself...

My mother blames my bad attitude and laziness for the absence of all the things I just listed and she's probably right because I know I have a bad attitude and I am EXTREMELY lazy...

But what am I gonna do about that ???

Guess I'll just sit here, shut up in the white walls of my room that seem more like prison bars, and wallow in my misery, like always....

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Kitty Volunteer, Pirates, & a Bi Beauty ♥

So, instead of volunteering at some boring hospital that smells like clerical soap, I shall be volunteering at the local animal shelter and be playing and taking care of the kitties >:D ♥
I went to the orientation for all volunteers tonight and in another week or so, should be getting an email about when to attend the orientation for the cat program (:
I decided to work with the cats because almost all the volunteers that came to the orientation decided to work with the dogs and, as much as I love dogs, the cats need tending as well, plus I love all animals ♥
Well, at least ones with fur, anyway :P

On Friday, I'm going to see the new Pirates of the Carribbean movie with my girly, Catherine ♥
Which should be fun IF it isn't sold out xP lol

And tonight I was IMed by a random girl that I didn't even know AT FIRST, but it turns out she knows my cousin and almost our whole family.
She's lived in Danbury and she currently lives in Yonkers, she's eighteen, and she's a bisexual beauty ♥
There was a bit of flirting going on but I let her know I'm not available right now but if and when I do become available, I will DEFINITELY give her a shot [;
Her name is Cassie ♥

Still very much in love with * Benji * ♥ and oh . . .
Did I mention that my cousin is probably moving to Puerto Rico ? >:D

That is all.
Tootles , & goodnight [:

Sunday, May 15, 2011

A Night in the City that Never Sleeps with the One Person You Can't Live Without ♥

So, because I had such a beautifully enchanting evening in New York City with the Great Benjamin last night, I've decided to blog about it (:

So, I spent the night with Benji last night for my 18th birthday that passed a couple weeks ago and we were supposed to be going to the Palisades mall but my mom screwed us up because she called it the Nanuet mall so me and Benji basically took a bunch of train rides and ended up in New Jersey or at least, the borderline of New Jersey and New York.

So basically, the whole night turned into a big adventure with romantic train rides and holding hands under the never ending lights of the city that never sleeps ♥
We walked through Times Square and he had his arm around me and we saw the Empire State Building lit up and it was simply beautiful ♥
It felt like we didn't have to hide and we could just be together and belong to each other and be happy together ♥

We ate at the best McDonalds in New York where the burgers actually look like they do in the commercials and we indulged ourselves in a bunch of food and we finished it off with Milk n' Cookie shakes from ColdStone Creamery. It was a sweet ending to a delicious meal.
He ate 2 angus burgers and some fries and I ate 2 grilled chipotle snack wraps and some fries.

We finished the night off on a 45 minute train ride back to the suburbs in our own private seat that we kinda found by accident but it secluded us from the rest of the train and its passengers so we had like our own private seating.
And, of course, the Great Benjamin discovered it >:D

So, lets just say it got a little steamy but then it died down to simply romantic and we started kissing while listening to "When Its Love" by Van Halen. And we actually didn't kiss until the romantic chorus broke out and it was just SO corny but SO fucking romantic at the same time and it just felt so perfect ♥
So, because of that indescribable moment, that's basically OUR song now lol :P ♥

The end to the evening was kinda sad and frustrating because we had a serious discussion that we didn't even get to finish and it upset us both and it was just, not the best ending to the evening but overall, the entire night was simply magical and the best birthday present ever because I got to spend one magical night with a man that I truly adore and we got to be free, together ♥

I don't wanna ruin this post by telling you all what our serious conversation was about so I'm just gonna end this post on a romantic and happy note (:

As Van Halen would say, "How do you know when it's love?"
I can't tell you, but it lasts forever ♥

Wicked Lovely

So, I haven't posted in a very long while.
Things have been quite hectic and crazy over here lately.

Well, just to update you on a few things, I'm fresh out of high school.
I graduated in February and I started community college before I graduated.
I just finished the Spring semester with passing grades in the two classes I took as a non-metriculated student and I'll be starting full time in the fall as a Liberal Arts major.
Hopefully I can find a job around then but for now, I'm trying to become a volunteer at my local hospital.
I wish I could get a job now but I have to go down to South Carolina and help out my grandparents with my baby cousin so I'll be down there the whole month of July and I'll be back in August.
My official graduation is in June when all the slackers graduate on time lol
My birthday was just recently and I am now officially eighteen and loving it (:

Now that I've finished school until the fall, I have more time to blog and study for my permit test so I can FINALLY learn how to drive.

I think I've matured in the past year ALOT and I've learned about life and about myself in general.
I'm starting to see who my true friends are and I'm trying to make new ones and stick around my neck of the woods as far as hanging out and making friends goes and I'm trying to stay away from my cousins territory because I just don't belong there and I think I can see where I'm not wanted, but that's okay because I don't wanna be there anyway.
I got my own life to live, my own friends to hang out with, and people to meet so I don't even NEED to be there in the first place and I am quite content with where I am right now.

An even bigger newsflash, I guess you could call it, is that I am truly, madly, and very deeply in love with someone right now but it's so very complicated and I don't think I need to post my whole life story on my blog but just thought ya'll should know that little tidbit.
But you can all know his name is Benjamin, but everyone calls him Benji, but I call him by my own nickname that I gave him which is the Great Benjamin ♥
He is truly amazing and I never thought I could find a guy that would treat me as good as he does and makes me feels this way.
I've honestly never felt this way about anybody before in my entire life and I'm not just saying that.
I can't explain how he makes me feel but he makes me feel different, and important, and special and there are just no words but so many at the same exact time.
We have so much in common and well, yeah. Oh, and he's Nigerian which makes him black but I really could care less about his color and I also don't care what anyone thinks about it because honestly, there is nothing wrong with an interracial relationship and if two people are happy together and make each other happy, then just leave them the FUCK alone.

I can't really say I'm in a relationship but I know that I am MOST DEFINITELY not available in ANY WAY shape or form.
Well, as good ole' Bella from the Twilight Saga would say, (even though Hermione is a WAY better role model for girls and totally more kickass), "I am unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him." ♥
Did I mention that his name is Benji ? [:
TEE HEE ! ^_^

That is all.